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So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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