what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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