He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
