we made out on top of his cat.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
