so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
