Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
my sisters under your porch take her home
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
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