I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
