I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
