nut hugger
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
