I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
