i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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