Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
