OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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