Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
