I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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