That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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