I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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