His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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