The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
