Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
