I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
