dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
