We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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