My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
