Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
