i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
