hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
