he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
