your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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