Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
