you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He felt like a one man threesome
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
