drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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