im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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