Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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