Will you blow on my dice?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I deserve this hangover.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
