Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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