I just made out with a guy for $7.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It's never too late to be topless.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
