New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
