I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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