don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
