people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
