Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
