Sry I called you an 8
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
