We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
MIDGETS
????
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize