the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
