so let's talk penis.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
