the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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