I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
