Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
not ubering you a puppy
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
