i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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