Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
