his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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