I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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