Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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